I am going to include something beneficial in this post. Really. But right now you will just have to bear with me while I ramble. Even writing out the year, “2020”, elicits a gut response in me-I am heartily sick of that number!!!

But wait. I have 2 new grandbabies. I was at both births, at home, and I am in awe. Of my kids, of life, of God’s providence and grace. These additions brought the grand(haha!) total to 8 grandchildren. I am so blessed.

There was also death. Friends I should have known better, who died too soon. Babies not held in their parents’ arms. My sweet mother in law, who had suffered the ravages of Alzheimers and the isolation that is involved with the disease itself and is a byproduct of Covid. This was a year. A strange, awful, wonderful, emotional year.

I ended a relationship with a preceptor who was a dear friend, to my loss. I mourn the friendship so much more than the other aspects. I gained a new friend and co-conspirator in the birth world, who challenges me to be more than myself. That would not have happened if Covid had not shut down the world. I just can’t process all of this with my feeble mind. It is too much.

This was the year of too much. I am seeing the fruit of decades of not doing enough. Of God going beyond the gentle nudging He has done for years, and kicking me right out of my comfort zone. His hand is in the whole year, not just parts we like. But this morning I heard a song that summed up things a bit for me(if anyone knows the artist please message me so I can give them credit!!)-God already gave me everything I will need. When those terrible times are drowning us, we already have the lifejacket. All we have to do is grab hold. In the joy, hold tight. In the pain, hold tight. God never promises that life will not give you more than you can handle. He promises that Christ is enough.

This year hasn’t ended yet! I have a beautiful Christmas to look forward to, I have babies, both my own and the sweet families who are expecting. This year has been so FULL of EVERYTHING. And there is so much more to come. Grab your lifejacket and jump in the deep end with me! Be blessed.

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